Welcome to one of the most exciting matchups of Week 1 of the college football season, featuring the nation’s most unintelligible coach going up against the nation’s most unintelligible fan base.

Miami of course will be wearing a very interesting uniform combination, made entirely out of recycled checks from Nevin Shapiro and 2 Live Crew.

Malik Rosier and Miami get the ball first. As long as he never has to throw under any circumstance, their offense should be in pretty good shape.

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